10 Signs of Low Self-Confidence

image for low self-confidence post

When you experience the signs of low self-confidence, you are not fulfilling your true potential. Read on to become familiar with these signs. That is the first step to improving your self-confidence and enabling your personal growth.

We all have manifested signs of low self-confidence at various points in our lives. Have you ever wondered what self-confidence truly means? I am sure you have already heard various definitions because it can be explained in multiple ways.  

Self-confidence means trusting in your abilities and talent. You have the belief that no matter what happens, you will be able to achieve your goal or solve a problem regardless of how difficult it may seem. You know you can succeed in any situation as you have the knowledge, resources, and abilities. 

Self-confidence also means that we feel safe when we are doing our day to day tasks as we know how to execute them. However, if a new situation or problem arises, we panic or might get scared. Being able to fight this feeling and get on top of it is also defined as self-confidence.

Everyone has self-confidence. Some more, some less. Some in a particular area, while others in different fields. Self-confidence is linked to various areas of life.

What does higher self-confidence contribute to?

  • Developing the ability to establish and maintain happier relationships.
  • Earning more money.
  • Building more satisfying careers.
  • Generally, to a more successful life.

To start your journey to a more satisfying and successful life, you have to be honest with yourself and realize whether there is work to be done with your confidence level.

 

10 Signs of Low Self-Confidence

Think about the past two weeks. Do you recognize any of these in your behaviors?

  1. You are hesitant or unable to accept compliments. Instead of saying a simple ‘Thank you’ – as you very likely worked hard for that compliment and are deserving of it – you will say something like ‘Oh, it is nothing, anybody could have done it’ and downplay it.
  2. You worry about what other people think. Besides, you cannot be yourself as you always walk on eggshells and try to please everybody around you. Confident people do acknowledge what others might think about them. But they care about it on a healthy level, as they have accepted, and love themselves, as they are. They consider others’ opinions when they need it, and they constructively engage their inputs.
  3. You do not trust yourself and your judgment.
    Another sign of low self-confidence is that you continuously ask for others’ opinion and judgment as a support to ensure your decision is the right one. Also, you might struggle to make sound decisions as you think others know better than you. Although, let’s not forget that at times, we all lose trust in our judgment. Self-confidence is about reaching back to past success and capabilities.
  4. You make excuses or blame others. Instead of owning up to your mistakes, you blame others or make excuses. Accepting the fact that you have made a mistake might feel like a weakness to you.
  5. Take constructive feedback as criticism. Due to not having a clear picture of their strengths, individuals with low self-confidence will take any negative feedback personally. This behavior makes them feel demotivated and even more unsure about their abilities.
  6. You do not like being in charge.
    People with a lack of self-confidence are afraid of being in a leading position as they cannot make choices without the approval of others.
  7. Accepting or giving in to blame. You often feel that you need to accept the responsibility for whatever went wrong and that it happened because of you. If you have low self-confidence, it is just easier to give in and take the blame than to stand up for yourself. 
  8. Comparing yourself with others. Instead of concentrating on yourself and how you can succeed, you are always checking what and how other people do and achieve. Comparing ourselves to others is not a problem as long as we can see it as an opportunity, and we find a better way forward without feeling like a loser in the competition. On some level, we all compare ourselves to others.
  9. You back down in an argument just to please others. You would rather keep your opinion to yourself, even if you know you are right, just to avoid conflict and keep up the peace.
  10. Giving up too soon. You might try something new but give it up before giving it your best shot as you think ‘it will never work for me’.

If, after reading these behaviors, you may have just realized that you might be lacking self-confidence. You need to know that many different factors contribute to low self-confidence: bad experiences, cultural background, etc. You also need to know that it is not your fault, and you can build your self-confidence back up. Although your past cannot be changed, there is help out there to guide you through the process.

It is so important to understand that if you are ready to put some time and work into it, with the right help and tools, you will be able to shine and enjoy a happier, more successful life and career.

You might like the What does it take to be confident? article that we published on this topic.

Photo by Eye for Ebony on Unsplash

Building Self-Confidence – The Benefits of Believing in Yourself

believing In yourself cover image

Building self-confidence can have a magical effect on your life, it helps you to shine and enables your personal growth. Read on to see what benefits believing in yourself brings to you.

Have you ever set out to achieve something, big or small, and heard a voice in your head telling you how terribly you will fail? Or do you sometimes think you are not good enough and you just cannot do it? Many people have had experience with this voice. It is self-doubt. This taunting voice beats you into a corner when you want to stand up to the high winds of challenges in life. All it does is criticize you and make you feel worthless.

The greedy nature of self-doubt ensures it sweeps clean all confidence, logic, and reason from your mind. It leaves you with unhappiness and depression. Fear and insecurity occupy your mind. However, that should not be the case. Honoré de Balzac couldn’t have been more correct when he said that, when you doubt your power, you give power to your doubt. The best you can do for yourself, with the help of self-knowledge, is believing in yourself and keep building self-confidence.

The good news is that the voice is made up in your mind, and there are ways to control it, rather than shutting it down completely. Failure to do this will plunge you into the ditch of fear, anxiety, and insecurity, and it is the last place you want to find yourself since you will feel like you have little to be worth living for. Paralysis, physical and emotional, may also ensue.

The Benefits of Believing in Yourself

Resources, intelligence, and opportunity may contribute to the success of an individual. Still, when you look deep down into the core of the prosperity of successful people, you will find they started by believing in themselves.

Why would you believe in yourself? If you don’t, no one will!

Putting it simply, if you don’t believe in yourself, no one else will. If you want your boss to recognize your performance, you must clearly represent the qualities expected of you. If you’re going to convince investors to put their money into your business, you must show beyond doubt that you have a firm conviction that your strategy will work.

Building Self-Confidence

Self-confidence is an important attribute, especially when faced with challenges in life. Click to learn more about What does it take to be confident?

One sure way of ensuring you will dig deep and stand firm is believing in yourself; the belief that comes from within enables you to face any challenge without succumbing to fear. If you feel that your self-esteem is in ruins, you may start with something small and begin building self-confidence in tiny steps. Believe in your capability to speak up at the next meeting. Have faith in it so firmly that you see yourself speaking and providing input. You already know the topic of the discussion. Prepare yourself, think about potential questions, and the opportunity will manifest itself.

A Step Closer to Achieving Your Goal

It is crucial to find a way to shut down the inner voice that would tell you how big and unachievable your goal is. You don’t want to be afraid to take steps towards success due to insecurity or self-doubt. Believing in yourself is one of the surest ways to make big strides towards the goal you have been chasing for a while now. You only need a positive attitude and thinking to realize it will take you time and effort to achieve your target and keep building your self-confidence, but you will achieve it and shine. Learning more about The psychology of positive thinking is a good starting point.

It’s an inspiration

When you believe in yourself, you give yourself the motivation to work harder every day to move forward and go for what you desire. In the wake of difficulties or even setbacks, you cannot afford to stop, no excuses, you have to be consistent. Self-doubt is the crusher of big dreams many people have in life. You need the driving force to make it in life, and inspiration is a significant boost to get you motivated.

Gives the realization that mistakes are part of the process

Anyone telling you that you will always have a smooth ride in life towards your goal is lying. Failure is bound to attack when you think you have gotten to the level ground. The last thing you want to have by your side is self-doubt. It will make you believe that all is gone, and there is nothing more to do. However, when you build your self-confidence and believe in yourself, it will make you realize that, once you fail, you’d better stand up, dust off, and move on because that is what the journey of life is about.

It gives you a positive attitude

Winston Churchill once said attitude is a little thing that makes a big difference. He was right. When you let negative thoughts flood your mind all the time, achieving your goal will be difficult. It is self-belief that makes you have the right attitude towards success.

Regaining your self-belief

Maybe you have lost the belief in yourself that we have discussed in this article, and you are wondering how you can get your self-belief back. All is not lost. You can regain your confidence and become successful in life. The following are ways in which you can start believing in yourself again and contribute to building self-confidence.

Avoid people who bring you down

You have more than likely come across individuals who believe everything is impossible or so complicated that it is not worth the effort. These are the people you must avoid at all costs. They will do nothing less than shoot down your ideas when you come up with them, making you develop self-doubt and insecurity. Follow the link to see How do people drag you down?

Identify your doubts

What are the things you think you cannot achieve in life? Why do you think you cannot reach them? Identifying what you think you are not good at is a sure-fire way to overcome fears and doubt and take the first steps in building self-confidence.

Count your achievements

One way to boost your self-confidence when you feel down is to count and celebrate your results and accomplishments, even the smallest ones. It is the time when the usual pep talk does not cut it. Get a pen and pencil, and list your successes one by one. Having someone tell you what you have achieved over the years is also an excellent way to increase your confidence.

Love and trust yourself

What people with self-doubt lack is self-love and trust. These two make you understand that the cause of action you take is the right one, and nothing will ever stop you from achieving your best and believing in yourself. Let’s get building self-confidence; you deserve it!

Photo from Unsplash

How do people drag you down?

how do people drag you down article cover image

People in your environment can drag you down in many ways. You may remember your mom telling you that your friend was trouble and you should have known better than hanging out with him or her. Truth to be told, being with friends who always look for and find trouble is not the only way to be dragged down.

Your energy level changes frequently throughout the day. Depending on what you do and who you are talking to, you may feel great and inspired at the end of the day, or you may feel tired by the end of a meeting. I am sure you know what I am talking about. Who didn’t hear about energy vampires? But I don’t want to talk about energy vampires today. How do people drag you down?

I’d instead talk about people, even in your immediate environment, who you wouldn’t consider as energy vampires. People who merely by telling their opinion or giving you feedback can set your mood and negatively influence your self-confidence. It sounds scary, doesn’t it? 

You can read more things that might hold you back here.

It is somewhat troubling. We have power over each other. Of course, others will have control over you only in case you let them have it.

You may have a friend, who you have known for ages, and you love, and suddenly things just don’t click the same way they did in the past.
Your friend probably hit a rough patch, and you may or may not know about it, but your friend’s negativity leaves its mark on your life, too.

  • When you have a success you can’t wait to share and meet your bitter friend who finds your success only temporary.
  • When you get a fantastic opportunity which your friend suddenly finds suspicious.

Unless you are very conscious about your friend’s situation and can remember how her or his balanced views helped you before or how different the negativity you experience from your friend is, you may find yourself trying to find out why that particular opportunity wouldn’t work for you or why was your success in fact a failure, without you recognising it.

You can also think about a colleague who shares a job with you and even though you both rely on each other’s efforts and work, this colleague doesn’t seem to care as much as you do. Your colleague, for whatever reason, doesn’t finish the report on time or forgets to send out an important email.
May not be much work to do anyway but if you have to do it instead of this colleague repeatedly, it becomes annoying. Or if you receive negative feedback as a consequence of your colleague’s mistake, it feels off-putting. Mainly because you now form a team and share the success and the responsibility, too.

So, what can you do?

Your plan of action will depend on why your colleague neglects his or her responsibilities.

Don’t be harsh; your colleague may struggle with problems in the family or illness. He or she may be stressed out because of other responsibilities or may already be overloaded with conflicting priorities. Think about the environment you both work in and make your first step accordingly.

Naturally, if you find that your colleague has all the opportunity to deliver on his or her promises, you may schedule a meeting where you can share your thoughts and views about the situation.

Many times, we don’t want to be the bad guys and let others get away with things that annoy us. That might work out for a while, but the time will come when you feel you had enough. Believe me, it is better to have that discussion before you reached the point of no return. Generally, there are meny benefits of believing of yourself. Read more here.

Cover photo by Leon Biss on Unsplash

How to combat our everyday challenges effectively

how to combat everyday challenges article cover image

It is as critical to face everyday challenges with dignity as to have the necessary tools for such a task if you are to tackle them effectively and emerge a victor.

No single human being leads a quiet, smooth and happy life that is devoid of stress factors, ills, or complications all through. Challenges form part of our human existence. They are ubiquitous and, in a unique way, help shape how we ought to deal with situations, appreciate what we can’t solve and, of course, handle issues and problems.
And, whether you like it or not, challenges will always be there, regardless of your financial situation, your age, gender or status in the society. But, if you choose to avoid them and run away, you will be doing perhaps the worst thing for yourself. Problems are to be faced, and not to be avoided. So, instead of running away or blaming someone, use the following techniques to combat them effectively. For encouragement check The power of now and how you can harness it.

A 4-step method of overcoming everyday challenges in life

Step #1: Identify the problem and state it clearly

One you decide to face the problem head-on, you must know what the problem is as well as its nature. Sure, you might be looking bold, but calm and raring to go, but you ought to know who your real “enemy” is. If you are at war with a problem that you don’t fully know, then you will not solve it well.
Therefore, stay calm and take your time to know and understand the problem. It is from the proper understanding of the issue that you will formulate the right goals, how you will work towards attaining them and perhaps stay on course once the journey starts.

Step #2: Gather your troops

Well, you have grounded yourself, and your heart is bubbling healthy even though you know that there’s a challenge ahead. Assuming that you have properly studied the problem, it is about time you gathered all your resources and identified your strengths and weaknesses. Experts advise that you make a comprehensive list of all that you will need. Among the things you will need to combat challenges are:

  • Materials and other tangibles
    Using books and magazines to digital resources, you can gather whatever is fit for resolving the issues you face. When you are aware that you don’t have enough resources, try to be patient and buy some time. Go right ahead with what is at your disposal or just adopt an alternative, perhaps more creative technique. It’s all about being intuitive, and some aspects of timing, too.
  • Personal skills and expertise
    Some say hard work beats talent. Work extra hard, hone your skills and polish that expertise, and you will overcome the issue. Be an expert in your field and don’t compromise on quality.
  • Collaboration
    You might be striving to fight the problem on your own, which is impressive. But with a larger group comprising different minds, talents, and energies, you will win with ease. Remember, to be successful you need not only others but also their support. After all, many hands make work easier.

Step #3: Come up with a working strategy

From the proverbial 5Ps – Proper Planning Prevents Poor Performance, an effective strategy at hand means you are equipped to combat everyday challenges en route. Rack your brain, come up with a feasible strategy and execute it as efficiently as you can.
Formulating a fit for purpose strategy takes time because it needs evaluated information. You will be assessing yourself, much like you reviewing and knowing more about the nature of the challenge. But as you do so, don’t waste valuable time to grant the challenge to grow and develop, because resolving an issue of a greater complexity will require more resources and efforts from you.

Step #4: Implement the strategy

A fit for purpose working strategy isn’t necessarily the shiniest one, that is according to successful entrepreneurs who have had to wait for the successful working formula during the umpteenth time. So, don’t feel let down when the first, second and third plans don’t live up to your expectations. As you work towards reaching those goals and stay clear from the challenges, just remember that consistency is the key.
For some specific challenges, creativity, skill and intelligence are needed the most. But for others, timing paired with diligence and determination is the most profound requirements. In short, you must know what the challenge really is and how to utilize your resources to ensure a simple, glitch-free and successful completion.

But, you can’t make use of each of the four techniques if you lack the following virtues:

  • Calmness and composure
    Costly decisions often emerge from emotion-driven choices. In the midst of the challenges, stay calm and watch your thoughts.
  • Accept the reality
    Yes, everything seems to be going awry. Yes, no one appears to care and yes, you might look hopeless and miserable. BUT, the first way of fighting the everyday challenges, is accepting that indeed you are fighting a dire situation.
  • Don’t blame anyone
    Take full responsibility for the problems so that you can start the road to recovery in earnest.
  • Avoid the analysis paralysis
    Don’t spend too much time thinking about the problem. Neither should you spend a colossal amount of time checking the strategies. If you do so, frustrations and fears will kick in, and in the end, you will start blaming yourself more.
  • Focus on detachment
    Challenges will always be there, but when you choose to live with them, trust me, you’ll lead a happy life. Try to step out of the circle of problems, distance yourself and look at them from a different angle.

For some, challenges mark the end and lead to a miserable life, stress and depression. But for others, challenges aren’t baggage at all. They’re what spur creativity, offer a window of opportunity and a perfect launchpad for stardom. For more Techniques to overcome everyday challenges click here.
It depends on how you perceive the nature of the challenge and what lies beneath it. So, on which side are you?

Cover photo by Lou Levit on Unsplash

What does it take to be confident?

cover image for what does it take to be confident

3-min read

That may seem like an ambiguous question, but it is, in fact, the very essence of what confidence is all about. If we take the words self-confidence or self-acceptance or self-assuredness, the common denominator is self. How you feel about yourself is key to building a good self-attitude. Much like a manager who will try to build up his team’s morale, you must build up yours. Be your own manager. Learn more about the Benefits of Believing In Yourself.

There are decisions to make when it comes to beginning the courageous journey in finding your inner confidence. We all have it, you have it, even if you haven’t found your real voice yet. By addressing a few key areas of your life, you can unleash your best self.

When it comes to losing your confidence mojo, you may be able to relate to the challenges in Bridget Jones’s life, or you’re feeling a bit like Spiderman when he lost his powers and had an attack of low self-esteem. Know that you are not alone in the world, fictional or real.

So, how does one remedy this?

From career choices to work-life balance, from making hard decisions to crashing through those limits you set for yourself, there are ways to pull out that sanguine person buried deep.

Take heed of a few simple pointers that will get you thinking and finally bringing out your courage to be the best possible you; you can be.

Step out of your comfort zone

Take a step away from your physical self for just a moment. If this means looking deep into a mirror, pulling out old photos of yourself, or even asking a very close friend to analyse your attributes, then that is what you should do.

Feeling good about your inner life and outward appearance are top items on the list. It isn’t egotistical. It isn’t superficial. It is necessary and your family, friend or partner can help you with this. The way how your progress & look makes you feel is vital to building up that confidence in yourself.

Perhaps you’re a sloppy dresser or you don’t pay attention to your hair or face. Maybe, you don’t stand up straight or bother with your diet and exercise routine. All these factors will show on your outer facade. Take pride in your body, in your appearance, and especially in how you speak.

The words that leave your mouth are just as important to your psyche as they are to the people that receive them. A wrong word can taint your opportunities in seconds.

Perhaps you have received only good feedback from your boss so far. Isn’t that suspicious? Is it possible that you don’t make mistakes at all?

You got to work-work-work

We all should work, but as soon as you take the work, add skills and mix in some ‘passion’ and ‘love’ then you are guaranteed to find the career that suits you better.

When it comes to career choices, we need to sit back and evaluate what skills and capabilities we have, how determined we are to go all the way, and what we really love and passionate about.

Being in a job that fulfills your ambition, but doesn’t fuel your joy and ardor is a waste of time and energy.

Equally a job that is joyful, but will get you stuck for years, will not help your development and won’t challenge you; and once the fun is over, you find yourself out in the world seeking for the lost paradise.

Building a career requires focus, dedication, and work. Click to find 3 Methods that successful women follow to keep their career on track.

If you need the courage to change jobs, whether well paid or not, gather your thoughts and list all that you believe you can achieve in your new job. Collect the benefits, and save your desires to fire your spirit when the going gets hard.

In other words, collect what you can get out of the new job and not what you would like to achieve with it.

And, yes, it will take time, but making that step in the direction of fearless, but realistic positivity, is a step that can make all the difference in your life.

Work out what makes you want to get up in the morning when it comes to the daily grind. Because, as soon as you start to focus on what that is, you will no longer look at it as the daily grind.

My secret is listing my goals and a couple of inspiring messages on google keep, which pops up every morning and reminds me where I am going and why. There are literally gazillion different tools that can help you keep your eyes on the ball. If it feels good, post pictures on your walls, make notes on the first page of the notebook you use every day, but make sure you will look at it every single day.

Keep your chin up

We are our worst enemy. And, sometimes, just like in all good novels, one should kill off your darlings.

Get rid of that little devil inside of your head that tells you daily that you are not good enough. Take a sledgehammer and beat her down. She doesn’t belong there. She is a jealous little bitch, and she needs to go.

A couple of surefire ways of starting off your day on a more positive note for you:

  • Affirmations. It can be anything you want, as long as it is positive. It can change daily, or you can keep it the same every day so that they become embedded in your body, mind, and soul.
  • Gratitude. It may sound strange, but most of the time we tend to walk past the wonders of life, sometimes as simple as a sunny day. Living in England, I learned to appreciate a sunny day. If you are juggling work and kids, you may be grateful to have some you time.
  • Feeling happy for your partner or friend.
  • Reminding yourself of a good memory. A memory of your last holiday, a good night out with your friends or family.

When you are feeling low, and that monster of negativity starts to claw her way up from the depths of your soul, just reach for your uplifting toolkit. It won’t solve all your problems but will help you see the world from a different angle and will give you the energy to go forward to solve your problems.

And that brings me to my next point.

We all have problems to solve

We all have a few problems that most times seem or feel like the world’s dilemmas. But, when you start to break them down, you will realise you are in a better position to solve them. And, all problems have a solution. It is the yin and yang of life.

It is easy to say, isn’t. Sometimes it is difficult to believe that there is a solution. At those times a little uplifting may help you start thinking about a solution, but you will need more to go on.

Solving a problem requires-

  – the ability to see cause and its effects,
  – openness to view things from someone else’s point of view,
  – creativity to see potential ways you haven’t seen before,
  – courage to test yourself every step of the way.

Once you started to develop your skills, one will enable the other; and a small success will give you the strength to achieve the next milestone.

Remember, we all have a problem to solve, so if you struggle to find understanding and collaboration, remind yourself, that others, out there, are also trying to find remedies to their problems.

It may happen that a solution for your problem is in the hands of someone else, who is looking for an answer that you have the key to. You should know these 5 ways to get helpful feedback.

If you feel you need to solicit the aid of a friend, family member, a colleague or your boss, then do so. You are not alone in this big bad world.

People like to feel needed, so reach out and need them. Oh, and it is not a sign of weakness. It is not a sign that your confidence level is waning. Asking for help is a very courageous thing to do. If it is helping towards the bigger picture, finding your self-confident self, then it makes sense to do it.

Celebrate your uniqueness

You are the only you there is, so find those unique aspects about yourself, and celebrate them.

Much like we constantly think about the one we are in love with, or with whom we are infatuated with, so should you be with your splendid self.

Falling in love with yourself starts with focusing on you and all those parts you know are original and absolutely fabulous. Again, make a list. Mental or otherwise. List those traits that make you.

Maybe you react in anger too quickly. Maybe you have a habit of taking too long to decide on something. You may have the amazing ability to spurt milk out of your nose. Okay, so that one is a little weird, but hey, how many others can do that? You may be the best speller on the planet or may even be able to clock a five-mile run in under 30 minutes.

Who knows what you’re capable of? But take a deep, and eye-opening look at yourself, because you own that body. You own that mind and soul. Make yourself the best project you have ever worked on.

You won’t believe the difference you will feel in yourself once you accept yourself and all that magnificentness. (Yep, I made that last word up!)

Because you are magnificent. Those limits you place on yourself need to be broken. And today is the day to break them.

Cover photo by freestocks.org on Unsplash