Positive thinking, overcoming insecurities, growth mindset

Personal growth enables us to become a better version of ourselves. It takes a lifetime to perfect it. However, personal development doesn’t need to be complicated!  

Let’s imagine that we are playing a tic-tac-toe game and give you two tools to build on and one factor that may block you and how you can overcome it. 

This article helps you to grasp the gist of how to make improvements to your life in a few simple steps. By implementing them into your daily routine, you can make instantaneous changes to your life, and little efforts soon will mount into something pretty amazing.  

To achieve quick positive changes putting these tiny efforts to good use, you need to know which lever to pull. Our article gives you a handle on the areas you need to focus on to make a real difference. 


Positive Thinking 

The number #1 element of personal development we mention in this article is positive thinking. Having a bright outlook on life is essential to moving forward in the right direction. When we apply positive thinking to a situation, our aim is to notice and focus on the good things. Now, I am not suggesting that you are looking at the world through rose-tinted glasses! However, the only person you can change is yourself and your attitude. Positive thinking can help you move on with what you can take away from a situation rather than be stuck on contemplating the negatives.  

This attitude to what’s happening around you will help you find solutions to the problems sooner or learn how to let them go faster. One thing you can do today to make a difference to your tomorrow is a quick Focus exercise.  


10-minute exercise to promote positive thinking in your everyday life 

  1. Choose a problem that you have been struggling to solve for a while 
  1. List three reasons why you need to solve this problem. What happens when you solve the problem? What will you achieve by solving the problem? Focus on the impact and positive outcomes. 
  1. Write down three skills/experiences that will make you successful in overcoming this problem. 
  1. List the top fear that is holding you back in solving the problem.  
    Find an example of a solution to the same or similar situation in your past, or learn from someone you trust and can learn from. 
  1. Envisage the best, a good and an acceptable outcome, and set a realistic way to measure your success, concentrating on what you can influence. 


Find a link to a simple template we give away for free.  

https://unleashr-mentoring.com/download/12234/ Use it as many times as you need it. 


Next time, when you come across a problem, go back to this exercise to focus on the positives and overcome the problem with the right attitude. 

Do not forget to be grateful for the opportunity to grow through solving the problem! 

Applying positive thinking to your days doesn’t mean devoiding your life of all reality. Of course, we need to be standing on the ground with two feet. The difference is that we are looking up rather than staring at the ground. Personal development has to have a good pinch of positivity. 



Do you want to know the difference between being overly enthusiastic and positive?  

Positive thinking is rooted in reality; you have a firm connection with it. Whereas if your thought has gone off the grid, then it’s not reality anymore but something that you have imagined or created in your mind. Naturally, not all imagination will take away your sense of reality. Creativity is an essential part of life and can result in amazing things such as pieces of art or technological invention. Staying grounded though helps you achieve results instead of longing for something unattainable.  

Let me illustrate the difference between positive thinking and being detached from reality with an example. 


A business entering the market with a new product may plan on achieving a $100K turnover in half a year, which can be a realistic expectation if he knows how to get started and increase sales fast. The better strategy and operational foundations the business has, the sooner they can put the product onto the market. With a robust strategy and business plan, they will be able to achieve results fast.  


However, if someone is planning on getting wealthy from hitting the jackpot on the lottery or partaking in “get-rich-easy”   schemes, they may find that the journey to the stars is a bit further than they hoped.  


How to do positive thinking correctly?  

Well, your thinking must be plugged into reality. Your mind has to be focused on the results and the outcomes. Additionally, you need to take into account what the chances are of these outcomes becoming a reality.  

Here is another example, 


We’ve all deliberated the pros and cons of a situation before making a decision. Going to a café versus going to a restaurant for lunch – well, the coffee is excellent at the café, and they have delicious cakes, but I am starving, and I can have a chilled sit-down meal at a restaurant!  

Tough call? Well, here is when the probability factor comes in: the café may not have enough sitting space for me to enjoy a short and quiet break… The chance of a favorable scenario coming true is slimmer, i.e., to be able to sit down to eat my meal. Therefore, all in all, the best call, in this case, must be to eat out at a restaurant. The fear of the café not having seating contributed to my choice falling on the restaurant.  

The issue with the fear factor is that we may fail to consider what could be done to promote the positive outcome to come to light. In our example, if we were really after cakes from a café, we could have gone to a place that has more of these eateries around to increase our chances of having a chilled coffee with a cake. 

In reality, you may not make an optimal decision because of the multiple factors that influence decision-making pairing up with the time pressure. In other words, not trusting an optimistic scenario, you compromise on a plan B. 


Overcoming insecurities 

The #2 component of personal development, which we cover in this article, is overcoming insecurities. These insecurities are, mostly subconsciously, holding us back from reaching our full potential. These self-doubting thoughts can come at us unexpectedly. It may be related to performance or being accepted, or it could be arising from questioning our own abilities.  

All these little worries are stemming from something that happened to us in our past. We may not have noticed them having an effect on us at the time, and we may not be able to pinpoint them onto one single event. A series of experiences can even cause insecurities 

One thing is for sure, it, consciously or more so subconsciously, caused us to change behaviors and the perceptions of events we partake in.  

We can see that to overcome insecurities as part of our personal development journey, we need to confront these skeletons in the closet. Behind every insecurity, there is a motive, a particular deep-rooted belief or desire that got bruised.  

Let me give you an example if you are feeling insecure because you don’t feel accepted, then at some point in your life, on a deeper level, your desire for being accepted by your parents, your partner, or your boss took a hit, and it left its mark on your mind. Many female professionals realize that their ambitions to move up the career ladder was deeply rooted in their early experiences of their mothers’ expectations related to perfection. 

Another example, you may have a deep-rooted motive connected to achievement, and you feel like falling short of hitting success repeatedly. This means that, at some point, you probably wanted something really badly, and you couldn’t quite get it. So, the next time your fear of not achieving it drove your actions.  


Here is my suggestion for getting past the doubts that may live in your mind – have a moment to yourself and think what may have happened to you that affected you? What is it that bruised you and left its mark?  
If you can identify it, or at least become conscious about this affecting your thinking, then you already took a step towards your personal development. Learning and reflection are such massive cornerstones of self-improvement and setting ourselves up on an upward journey.  


Just like that, we arrived at the #3 element of personal development. 


Growth mindset.  

Growth mindset is a state of mind based on the belief of being able to move forward and improve. It’s a belief in your own skillset and that you can develop further. Every tiny little thing that you learn propels you forward.  
You are always in motion. Just like sharks! Sharks need to keep moving to stay alive. We, humans, need to frequently change, improve, and adapt to new situations and circumstances. We need continuous improvement dynamic in our lives, just the same way sharks need to keep swimming 


Remember, incremental changes are all it takes to become a better version of yourself from one day to the other.  


To put this growth mindset into practice, list five things you learned over the past 2 days.  

Think of what you saw, where you’ve been in these past couple of days. You could have learned about a quirky trait of an animal in a documentary, saw a greener solution to an everyday item you use, learned 3 words in a foreign language… things like these are propelling you on from one day to the other, so keep them going! 


Apply some positive thinking in your everyday life, step over insecurities that may stop you from becoming the better version of yourself, and allowing your mind to absorb and grow with information that moves you closer to your goal. 

5 Tips to Help You Be More Successful


Hunger for success is natural and is in everyone. There isn’t a more uplifting feeling than when you accomplish your goals through hard work and discover your true self. Everyone wants to be more successful, but what is a success?

Although success can be well–defined, based on the experience with our clients, it means something different to everyone. There are those who feel content in possession of lots of money. Those who own and run a business – which is what brings them joy. Some people are dedicated to personal and professional development and there are also those whose 1st priority is family – and others to whom it’s caritative work. 

All work for success, all in their own ways, some following their passion and others in need of a little uplifting now and then. 

But what ways are there to be more successful? Here are 5 tips for you to help you be on the path of joy and success.

Find out what success means to you.

I am sure you heard that people who follow their passion are happier and more successful. In some sense, it is true, even though passion is only one component to success. So, as a start,  find out what makes you feel happy. As soon as you have a goal, you can create the plans yourself – if you really want it. 

Then find what you like to spend time doing and what you are good at.

When you do something with all your heart and soul, you are moving huge energies and can achieve extraordinary things. This energy will automatically help you concentrate on creating experiences that move you forward and ease the progress to a great extent. Without a shadow of a doubt, you will be able to mobilize your energies and turn your ideas into actions.

We all know though, that passion paired with excellence is what makes a difference, and to make an impact you need to have and utilize the right skills.

When you are tuned into success and positive about the future, you rarely consider that success always comes at a price. Expect surprises and be open to making sacrifices.

Depending on what success means to you and what you want to achieve or what your goals are, – you must expect to make sacrifices. We often say the best things in life are free, but everything comes at a price.  If you want to spend more time with the family, you must make the time for it. If you want to progress in your career, you must invest in yourself. Do you want to start a business? You need funds, new skills, and time. Perhaps,  you need to save money for months or even years to start your business.

With all the learning, the extra efforts, and the work invested in, you might find that you have even less free time. The good news is that everything is temporary. I am sure you heard the phrase ‘This too shall pass’. Once you reap the fruits of your labor, you will see the sacrifice was worth it.

Surround yourself with people smarter than you.

There are only a few people in the world from who you couldn’t learn something good and new. On the way to success, you will come across and work with a lot of people. They all help you towards your goal in one way or another. Don’t be afraid to share, ask for help, or cooperate.

Never give up!

One of the keys to success is that we do not surrender when faced with obstacles. It is one thing, of course, to know the way how to overcome the obstacles ahead, and another to implement the solution. 

Many people become uncertain and hesitant when one small inconvenience arises and lose the strength to start over. 

Don’t be like them. Adopt a problem–solving attitude and concentrate on finding solutions, not excuses. If you do so, not only your work will be fruitful, but others will also recognize and appreciate the results. Not to mention the lessons that will enrich your life and increase your self-confidence. 

You also need to understand that you are in the driving seat and hold the key to your life. 

Even if you believe there are a magical influence, other people, fatal powers, or coincidences that prevent you from achieving your goals, you will always have a choice and a solution, you just need to find it. 

Many people don’t accomplish their goals because they are not willing to take the necessary steps, not because they are not capable enough. 

The accomplishment of your life goals may somewhat depend on luck and talent, or on your relationships, or other factors. But it definitely depends on how you handle the above-mentioned factors.

Let the challenges be the reason why you can progress and succeed, when others may hide behind those as they fail. This is how simple it is to stand out and achieve all you want.

Photo by Jason Dent on Unsplash

How do high achievers really think?

cover image for how do high achievers really think

Who are the high performers? How do top performers think? 

Often, they are individuals with a growth mindset and a strong sense of responsibility to achieve what they put their mind to. Loyal to their life purpose and life strategy, they take the initiative and work for success with persistence. The efforts high performers are willing to make over a long time to achieve their goals are greater than what an average individual would take on. 

If we’re talking about high achievers, it’s natural to bring up the achievement orientation versus failure avoidance debate. Contrary to top performers, individuals who avoid failure, often do so because they’re embarrassed by the possibility of failing. It’s not that they’re less talented or less capable of putting forward the same effort as their more successful peers, but their mindset limits them to do so. 

How to cross over from a failure avoiding individual and become a high achiever? We need to start by understanding what they do and why. Here are some of the enablers to high performance. 

  • Mindset, 
  • self-awareness 
  • ownership/personal responsibility 
  • autonomy 
  • resilience 
  • adaptability, and 
  • grit 

By looking at this list, I can already hear you say that you already possess these as well. Which may very well be. The difference is not in the WHAT but it is in the HOW. Let me share with you more on some of the enablers. 

1. Personal responsibility

High achievers believe one needs to master the growth mindset, initiative and persistence, and be ready to make a great deal of effort because these are key to unlocking success. 

It is our responsibilityto go out and get what we want. It is easier said than done. 

One can as easily be entrapped in a limiting environment, surrounded by barriers and non-believers. Truth to be told, most of us live a life like that.  

In an ideal world, our parents are supportive of all our decisions, there are no envious frenemies nearby, and things work out exactly as we planned. This utopia may sound good, but I guarantee it would become boring after a few months at least. 

Challenges are to make us stronger; this is how top performers think. Difficulties are to sharpen our minds, and it is through trials that we become happier as strange as it may sound. The sense of achievement, the win that you own because you take responsibility for success. It is true, you take responsibility for mistakes as well, but mistakes are there for you to teach you how to steer clear next time. 

Individuals who have a history of avoiding failure tend to blame their static state on situations and resources instead of trying to change something about it. Fear does not only increase the distance between these people and success, but it also rips them off of their control over their lives. Because responsibility means increased power as well because you believe you can positively impact your environment, and through that, you develop and get better results; it means you believe in your opportunity for growth. 

2. High Profile Tasks as Opportunities

opportunity for growth ​open door

Photo by Matthew T Rader on Unsplash

So, how do top performers think

When high achieving individuals assess a task, they think of it as a great opportunity, a challenge they must overcome while understanding and mitigating the associated risks, instead of steering away from them. Therefore, they take the initiative and work through the tasks with persistence. Their focus is on the sweet taste of victory, and they don’t think that failure is an option. There is either no plan B or Plan B is there to support Plan A. 

To others, those tasks may appear to be a threat of sorts; a path that will lead to embarrassment in public. Thinking there is no Plan B, might terrify those people as failure avoidance is violently battling their desires for a better future in the back of their minds.    

Growth is a desire up until the point you are ready to act on it and choose to mitigate risk instead of paralyzing yourself. Risk mitigation might include risk avoidance, no doubt, it is though just one option. If you are to set foot on the path to growth and ready to open your mind to the spirit of growth mindset, you will look at avoidance as one option, instead of being the only option you have. 

3. Effort is Enjoyable

To high performers, the effort is delight. They love the concentration and dedication needed to complete a demanding task and thrive on the commitment. Are they agelasts only finding enjoyment in work or in winning? Not at all. If you think, it is not testing their abilities or a challenge is a walk in the park to them, think again. If you think they live for the fight, even though some might do so, hold your horses and judgment just for a little longer. 

The joy of effort is in progress, it is in the results; it is in the excitement of getting closer to what they want. The clarity around the desired future is so great as if they could taste it, therefore while working towards the goal, even despite difficulties, they don’t lose sight of the destination. The effort takes them to their next milestone, and then they know how many more stages they need to pass. Even if there are detours, they know the route and minimize the detours. 

To failure avoiding individuals, any extra effort may also be a stress factor and source of misery. They think of the setbacks associated with those tasks and back out before trying. 

4. Improving Skills

improve skills and master the growth mindset

Photo by Tim Mossholder on Unsplash

Adaptability is about learning and embedding the lessons into the every-day living. Top performers believe skills are polished over time and that any task can be accomplished with the right knowledge and skills. 

Naturally, we are not talented in everything, and not all of us will become famous pianists. I know I won’t be. But I also know I can master it if I put my mind to it and practice a lot. I decide to do so or to allocate my time and resources to something else. IT works the same for you as well. As long as one is dedicated to learning, the result will be a success.  

Individuals with fear of failure believe that skills are an innate talent, and you’re either good at something, or you are not, and no amount of practice can help you achieve otherwise. 

5. Persistence

No matter how many setbacks you have or the number of obstacles you face – as long as you continue to move forward, you will achieve your dreams. Or such is the mindset of top performers, while people who avoid failures see only mistakes as signs of failure and with it the beginning of the end, if not the end itself. They end things before they can even start. 

It’s hard to say one mindset is right over another and judging helps no one and creates no better results. Some could put in all their efforts and still struggle, while others may do less, or so it seems, and achieve great heights. 

However, if we were to analyse high achievements all over the world, grit will always be among the enablers. 

Cover photo by Ine Carriquiry on Unsplash