Have you ever wondered what self-confidence truly means? I am sure you have already heard various definitions of self-confidence because it can be explained in multiple ways.
It is trust in your abilities and talent. You have the belief that no matter what happens, you will be able to achieve your goal or solve a problem regardless of how difficult it may seem. You know you are capable of succeeding in any situation as you have the knowledge, resources and abilities.
Another way of describing self-confidence is that we are feeling safe when we are doing our day to day tasks as we know how to execute them, however, if a new situation or problem arises, we panic or might get scared. Being able to fight this feeling and get on top of it is also defined as self-confidence.
Everyone has self-confidence.
Some more, some less. Some in a certain area, while others in different fields. Self-confidence is linked to various areas of life but higher self-confidence definitely contributes to:
- developing the ability to establish and maintain happier relationships,
- earning more money,
- building more satisfying careers, and
- generally to a more successful life.
To start your journey to a more satisfying and successful life, you have to be honest with yourself and realize whether there is work to be done with your confidence level.
Below are 10 behaviours people with low self-confidence display.
Think about the past two weeks. Do you recognise any of these in your behaviours?
- You are hesitant or unable to accept compliments
Instead of saying a simple `Thank you` ; as you very likely worked hard for that compliment and are deserving of it, you will say something like `Oh, it is nothing, anybody could have done it` and downplay it.
- You worry about what other people think
In addition, you can not be yourself as you always walk on eggshells and try to please everybody around you.
Confident people do acknowledge what others might think about them, but they care about it on a healthy level as they have accepted and love themselves as they are. They consider other`s opinion when they need it and they consider their inputs in a constructive way.
- You do not trust yourself and your judgment
You constantly ask for others’ opinion and judgment as a support to ensure your decision is the right one. Also, you might struggle to make sound decisions as you think others know better than you. Although, let`s not forget that at times, we all lose trust in our judgement. Self-confidence is about reaching back to past success and capabilities.
- You make excuses or blame others
Instead of owning up to your mistakes, you blame others or make excuses. Accepting the fact that you have made a mistake might feel like a weakness to you.
- Take constructive feedback as criticism
Due to not having a clear picture of their strengths, individuals with low self- confidence will take any negative feedback personally. Which will make them feel demotivated and even more unsure about their abilities.
- You do not like being in charge
People with lack of self-confidence are afraid of being in a leading position as they cannot make choices without the approval of others.
- Accepting or giving in to blames
You often feel like that you need to accept the blame for whatever went wrong and that it happened because of you.
As you are not self-confidence enough it is just easier to give in and take the blame than to stand up for yourself.
- Comparing yourself with others
Instead of concentrating on yourself and how you can succeed, you are always checking what and how other people do and achieve. Comparing ourselves to others is not a problem as long as can see it as an opportunity and we find a better way forward without feeling like a loser in the competition.
- On some level we all compare ourselves to others
- You back down in an argument just to please others
You would rather keep your opinion to yourself, even if you know you are right, just to avoid conflict and keep up the peace.
- Give up too soon
You might try something new but give it up before you would give it your best shot as you think `it will never work for me`.
If after reading these common signs, you may have just realized that you might be lacking self-confidence, you need to know that there are a lot of different factors that contribute to low self-confidence. Such as your , your bad experiences, cultural background, etc.
You also need to know that it is not your fault, and although your past cannot be changed, your self-confidence can be built back up, and there is help out there to guide you through.
It is so important to understand that if you are prepared to put some time and work into it, with the right help and tools you will be able to enjoy a more fulfilling, happier and more successful life and career.
You might like the What does it take to be confident? article what we published in this topic.